It is easy to forgive other for doing you wrong but to forgive yourself it is not easy. Let us focus on the self healing kind of forgiveness Self-forgiveness.
Self-forgiveness happens in situations where an individual has done something that they perceive to be morally wrong and they consider themselves to be responsible for the wrongdoing. Self-forgiveness is the overcoming of negative emotions that the wrongdoer associates with the wrongful action. Negative emotions associated with wrongful action can include guilt, regret, remorse, blame, shame, self-hatred and/or self-contempt.
Major life events that include trauma can cause individuals to experience feelings of guilt or self-hatred. Humans have the ability to reflect on their behaviours to determine if their actions are moral. In situations of trauma, humans can chose to self-forgive by allowing themselves to change and live a moral life. Self-forgiveness may be required in situations where the individual hurt themselves or in situations where they hurt others.
2. Why is it important -
A friend of mine was engaged to this beautiful lady and they made a lovely couple. They had been dating for years and my friend cought her cheating a several times. Eventually he called off the engagement. As a result of the hurt he went through, he started becoming cautious when in relationships.
Since then, his relationships never lasted and he became a player. He was angry with himself for being fooled so many times by the same person. He kept asking himself why him and how could he be so foolish? The one thing stood out was the fact that he could not trust anyone. That caused his relationships to fail.
After many years of not trusting you forget the real reason you do not trust and that is what happened to him. He himself forgot why he does not trust women. He even taught his son not to trust women. This is also common to mother and they become so over protective because they were hurt before. They do not want to see anyone being hurt like they were hurt especially their loved ones. The cycle continues for many generations to come.
There are men who call women dogs and women who call men dogs. There may be different reasons why you do not trust or hate and the root cause may be the fact that you could not forgive yourself.
In all fairness there are thing that you do not want anything to do with because of the past experiences and might have forgotten the reason why you do not want them. When ever you realise that you do not like or do not want something ask yourself why and seek to forgive yourself in order to move on. Pain and Anger stops life for many of us
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